Two-fer

In honour of my friend's recent visit, thought I'd share one of her pet peeves about being single - the two for one coupon.  What good is a two-fer for a single person, she asks.  I'm a one-fer!  Agreed!  What good is a free hamburger if you won't eat it? (Let's face it, the majority of the two-fer coupons come from fast food restaurants - DB, if you ever see a two-fer on something healthy and/or useful, let me know and I'll share it with you.)  Two-fers are probably great for couples or families on a limited budget, but they tend to be pretty useless for the singles I know. (This may be gender specific - there may be guys out there who love the two-fer fast food coupons.)

Now for some of my own, more recent thoughts on the two-fer.  Some people might look at the "two-fer" scheme as simply a marketing gimmick, a way to get people to buy more, or at least to try more of a company's product so they will get sucked in and want to keep buying when the product is no longer on sale.  But what if the two-fer is not really a product of our consumeristic society?  What if it's actually some sort of diabolical scheme to get us to talk to other people?  Or even worse, spend time with them?  What if, when I saw a two-fer coupon, instead of immediately throwing it out, I saved it and found a friend to share the deal with  me?  I'm feeling sick already, thinking about the number of fast food meals I'd end up having to eat.  Which may be why I've never invited anyone to join me in taking advantage of the many two-fer coupons that magically appear in my mailbox - I can't stand fast food.

But maybe I can try this whole 'talking to people' and 'spending time with them' without a two-fer.  Maybe I can just call someone up and say, hey, I'm going for a walk, would you like to join me?  It's a risky plan, but I might just try it.  Because really, the two-fer coupons are just a marketing gimmick, trying to get me to buy more of a product that I didn't need in the first place. Companionship, on the other hand, is something I do need, and lucky for me, I can get it without a coupon.  Even if I have to make two or three (or more) calls before finding someone who can join me for that walk. 

Miss not-so-Independent

I remember having dinner with my roommate and her brother and some other friends.  He looked at us ladies and said something along the lines of "It's no wonder you girls aren't married.  You can do everything yourselves.  You don't need a husband."  More recently, I was helping to set up for a party at the church and was carrying a bunch of stuff in from my car.  A brother came in behind me and made some sort of joking comment about getting the door for me, after I had already opened it myself despite both hands and arms being very full.

I think about these things, and I think, to some extent, they are right - I can do, and do do, a lot of things by myself.  Because if I didn't do them, who would?  When I come back from grocery shopping, there is no one around to help me carry in the groceries, or to open the door while I carry them in.  And since I'm too lazy to make multiple trips, I usually have my hands and arms pretty full when I come in from the car, but I still manage to open the door without putting anything down (I like to think of it as an art form that I have perfected over many years of practice).  There is no-one else to change the light bulb when it burns out (this is unfortunate, as my last light bulb changing attempt was actually a failure - it's not that I couldn't get the old bulb out and the new bulb in, apparently I bought the wrong kind of bulb, so even though the new bulb looks right, it doesn't give any light.  Good thing it's a two-bulb fixture so I'm not completely in the dark.)

But does that mean I don't need a husband?  Of course not.  I used to think that one of the (many) great things about having a husband would be that I could get him to take out the garbage and take care of the car and kill the spiders and basically do all of the jobs I don't like doing.  Then I realized that's not very fair to him, if he doesn't like any of those jobs either, and it would actually have to be a more equitable distribution of work.  But there would be a distribution of work, so neither of us would have to do everything, and I expect that will be very nice.

However, I have recently realized (or maybe re-realized) another reason having a husband would be great.  You have a built in friend, someone to talk to and do things with.  The importance of this factor was brought home to me in the Tale of Two Holidays.  Last fall I took a lovely holiday to Europe by myself, and I did not love it.  It was nice, I saw some cool things, but I was bored with myself and really wanted someone to talk to and to share my interesting discoveries with and to discuss the neat things I was seeing.  or the bad driving, or crazy people.  I also realized that I am more adventurous when I am with someone else.
I recently got back from the second of the two holidays.  This time I went to visit a friend, and got to stay with her family for the entire vacation.  It was great to have someone to spend time with, to talk to, ask questions of, get opinions from, etc.   The comparison between my two holidays and the way I felt while away confirmed for me the truth of the saying "no man (or woman) is an island" (although I was on an island when I realized this, greatly enjoying the beach and the sunshine).  It doesn't matter whether I can take care of myself all by myself, or whether my future husband can do the same (I really hope he can, by this stage in life).  Our lives will be more enjoyable together.