Attitude

I was talking to a friend after a fireside the other night, and of course the topic turned to dating, or more accurately, not dating.  I'm a big fan of the idea of the single adult program as a way to meet people and hopefully get dates, but in order for the program to be successful, all (or at least most) of the participants need to have the right attitude.

I believe that those who attend activities with an open mind, looking to meet new people and develop new relationships, have a much greater chance of actually entering into a relationship.  However, these chances are diminished by those who attend the activities with a different attitude, like the activities are some sort of support group.  "Hi, my name is Fran, and I'm single".  Only unlike AA, or other programs where the point is to overcome the issue that brought you to the meeting, the "singles support group" often seems to be used as a validation of one's single status rather than an attempt to change that status.  If there are so many other single people around, it must not be bad thing, right?  Right, in a way.  There's nothing wrong with being single, as long as you're not avoiding any possibility of changing that status, or worse, actively trying to maintain it. 

Now, there may be some women who try to validate their single status, but I've mostly seen it in men, who often seem content to make lots of female friends without ever trying to take any of those relationships to the next level.  When you stop trying to meet new people and stop wondering what a relationship with them would be like, when you cease all efforts to get a date, or to make someone want to date you, I think there's a problem.  We should always be trying to progress spiritually, and since marriage is part of that spiritual progression, I think that to stop trying for it would likely have some sort of impact on the rest of your spiritual progression.  Now, I may rethink this as I get older, but until then, my plan is to keep following the program and eventually graduate to the next level.  If I try long enough and hard enough, I may just get it right.