To date or not to date... a non-member

That is the question.  Or at least it might be if I knew any single men who were non-members.   (I'm not counting the few at work, since passing in the halls once a week doesn't really put us anywhere near 'potential date' stage.)

I know a number of women who have answered yes to this question and decided to look outside the church when their dating prospects within the church have not amounted to anything.  It's like they have asked themselves the question "is it better to be married to a non-member than to be single", and have answered "yes".  I have some good friends who have chosen to marry non-members; some of these friends are still active in the church, and some of them are not.  I figure that the difference in religious beliefs will simply add to the existing challenges that come with any marriage.

Sometimes when I think about this question, I think "why not?  there are plenty of good men outside the church."  But then I think about it on a deeper level.  What do I really want, what is my ultimate goal in life?  It is an eternal one.  I don't want just an ordinary family, I want an eternal family.  The thought of having a family for mortality, of loving them completely, then not being with them for the rest of eternity, is heartbreaking to me. 

As my mother told me many, many times, you marry who you date.  So if you date non-members, you will probably end up married to one.  And the likelihood of marrying a non-member in the temple is pretty low.  Well, really, it's impossible to marry a non-member in the temple.  But you could date a non-member, they convert, and then you marry them in the temple - this is what I believe is less likely.  I know it happens, but is it something I'm willing to take a chance on?

Going back to The List.  If a man has faith in Christ (and of course, I'm assuming here that faith without works is dead), then that could be enough, at least for a date.  Since it's just for a date, as long as he's got faith in Christ and has strong moral standards, you can expect that he will treat you with respect and not try anything inappropriate, which would be one of my concerns about going on a date with a non-member. Also, if he has faith in Christ, there is clearly the possibility that he would eventually come to believe the true gospel of Jesus Christ.  Or as a man in my ward described it, to go from something true to something truer.  Which means that you could be the one to introduce him to the gospel.

But there's always the risk that he won't accept it.  Or that you'll be old and gray before he does.  Every time I've had a financial risk assessment, I always place in the risk averse category.  For the most part, this carries over to my dating and relationship thoughts as well.  But even with the risk involved, I can't categorically answer no to this question.  Do I want to date non-members? No.  But I recognize that God's vision is limitless, and mine is not, that He can see the hearts of men much better than I can.  So if an opportunity came along to go on a date with a non-member, I think I'd say yes.  But I'd have to think very hard before going on a second date.