Sitting in church a while ago, I was looking around at all of the other single women in the congregation. It hit me that there are a number of women in my ward who are only single at church, meaning they have a husband at home who chooses not to join them at church, whether he's a member or not. That got me to thinking, would I rather be single, or married to someone who didn't support me in my beliefs? What would it be like to attend church and be uplifted and strengthened by the Holy Ghost, and go home to someone who hasn't had that? What would it be like if I was growing closer to God and my husband wasn't? How does that impact your ability to grow together as a family?
And what about the sisters who come to church with their spouses, but are still practically speaking alone? you can attend the same church without actually supporting each other. you can make a show of supporting your spouse at church, then completely change once you leave the building.
Combine these thoughts with a couple of conversations with women who are now in happy second marriages following a less than positive first marriage. Both of these women advised that it is better to be single than to be married to the wrong man. I dated a guy once who was definitely a wrong man for me. I'm sure he'll be great for someone, but even though he had many wonderful characteristics, our life plans and expectations were far too different, and I knew that if we ever got married, I would spend more time alone than I did as a single person, whether it be physically or emotionally. Which is not what I am looking for in a husband.
And so I continue to be patient, preferring to be happily single than unhappily married.
A similar idea occurred to me a few years ago while I sat in church by myself. I watched a recently divorced sister struggle with her five children, another sister (who's husband was there but utterly useless) struggling with her kids, and then my brother's wife trying to manage her kids while my brother sat on the stand because he was stake president. It hit me that even if I marry a great guy, I can expect we won't get to sit together at church but we can still share common values and feel one another's support.
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