What do I want?

“What do I want? I’ll tell you what I want.  I want Ken Railings to walk in here right now and say ‘Pam Short’s broken both her legs and I want to dance with you!’” 

So says Liz Holt in one of my favourite movies, Strictly Ballroom.  And much to her surprise, she soon gets exactly what she asked for.  Only to realize soon afterwards that what she thought she wanted is not all it’s cracked up to be. (Turns out Ken’s a bit of a lush.)

By the time I was 12  knew what I wanted to do with my life.  I had everything planned out, from my undergraduate degree, followed by missionary work, to my graduate degree, followed by a high-paid, high profile career complete with designer shoes and expensive suits.  Fast forward several years, and I am now living a slightly watered down version of the dream I had as a 12 year old.  Only, much like Liz, it turns out that what I dreamed about is not all it's cracked up to be.  Or, more accurately, it's a great dream, but I've changed a bit (hopefully a lot) since I was 12, and it no longer fits who I am.

So now that I'm slightly more mature than I was at 12, what do I want?   

What I really want is probably fairly similar to what most people want; lasting happiness in a positive relationship with a wonderful  man. I would love to be married and to have kids.  Who do I want to marry, and how many kids do I want?  I haven’t figured out the answer to the first one yet, and I expect the answer to the second one will be strongly influenced by discussions with whoever I do end up marrying.

  And my other desires are attainable with or without spouse.  I want to be healthy and physically active.  I want to learn new things, to use the intellect that God has given me and figure out how the world works.  I want to explore and enjoy the beauties of nature, the wonders of technology, and the many other marvels that surround me. 

I also, and probably more importantly, want to be involved with others, to be a part of their lives, and to have them be a part of mine.  To this end, I am trying to take advantage of the many relationships I am in by birth.  Just to clarify, that is “take advantage of the relationship”, not “take advantage of the relatives”, although I’m sure my parents would say that the distinction between the two is slightly blurred.  But I’ve convinced myself that they like it when I raid their fridge.  In other relationships, I’m trying to maintain regular and positive communication with my siblings and their spouses, and spend time with my nieces and nephews.  I’m also trying to meet new people and make sure that I spend time with others, even for activities that can just as easily be accomplished alone.  I figure that by working to obtain all of these other wants, I'll become a better, more well-rounded person, and a better potential spouse.