Burst my bubble

I generally try to focus on the benefits of being single because frankly, I'd rather be happy than not.  But last night at our Relief Society meeting, one of the drawbacks of being single became glaringly obvious.  We were talking about being organized, and the speaker suggested that one way to get more done is to delegate work to those in your family, like having your kids clean the bathroom or dust or whatever.  I was crushed to realize that I have no one to delegate things to!  Given my recent post on wanting someone to help carry in the groceries, maybe this is something I should have figured out long ago.  I guess I always just thought of it as not having someone to help out with things.  Maybe it's more like what my sister does in her family - she does the "pink" jobs (her term, not mine), and delegates all the "blue" jobs to her husband.  Now that I know what I'm missing, I may have to start a list of things that I want to delegate to my husband, wherever he is.

Perspective

As I came home from the grocery store the other day and was trying to lug in all of my groceries, I suddenly felt very tired of being alone.  Now, I generally try not to think about things like this, and I'm chalking this feeling up to the fact that I just wanted someone else to carry the groceries for me (they were particularly heavy that day).  But then I started to think about it a bit more.

Accepting that the Lord's promise is true, that all righteous people will have the opportunity to be married in the next life so they can achieve the highest degree of glory, then really, this life is the only time out of all eternity that we have to be single.  So instead of complaining about it, I should just continue to carry in my own groceries, enjoy it and give thanks for this extended time to be alone, to figure myself out, to learn about the plan of salvation, and to strengthen my relationship with my Saviour.  And whenever the time comes for me to exchange the blessing of being single for the blessing of being married, I'm sure I will enjoy that as well.

Things that make you go hmmmm

I think we've all heard it somewhere - if we don't find a husband in this life, as long as we live righteously, no blessings will be denied us, meaning we will have the opportunity to be married in the next life.  For the most part, this knowledge give me hope.  But the other day I had the random thought - if we don't get married here, are we going to have to go through the whole dating scene again?  I've got to tell you, that sort of scares me.  I mean really, look at the caliber of LDS women currently on the dating scene - it's pretty amazing.  So I can just imagine that the caliber of women in the celestial dating pool will be even better, meaning it will be even harder to stand out.

On the other hand, everyone in that dating pool would be celestial material, and motivated to get married, so it might not be so bad after all.  But still, I'd rather avoid it if at all possible, so I'll just put a little more effort into my current dating efforts.

The Mother in you

One of my friends recently had an experience that I thought was appropriate to share on this Mothers' Day.  The following is in her own words, with permission.

"My visiting teachers came over last night.  A comment was made that still has me thinking. 

"Basically one of my vt'ers was talking about being pregnant and creating life and the miracle of that and then having them and teaching and nuturing them and I'm sorry if this doesn't interest you because you aren't a mom and haven't had children. 

"I stopped her and said, "but I am a mother, I've never had a child of my own but I nuture and teach and mother other children, my siblings children and the youth through the church."

"She backed off and was worried that she had offended me.  I wasn't offended, I was just shocked that anyone would consider me less because I haven't had a child of my own.  I am not to be pitied because I'm single and don't have children, just like every other sister in the world, I'm to be included and loved because I am a daughter of god.  No more than you, no less than you."

And now it's back to me again.  I'm thrilled that my friend recognizes that her ability to fulfill her divine role as a nurturer does not depend on her marital status or whether she has borne or is raising children.

For more on this topic, check out Sister Dew's talk "Are we not all mothers?" from October 2001 General Conference.

Hope springs eternal

As I get older, I occasionally feel like my chances of getting married and having kids are drying up.  The last time I had such a thought was right around the time we were studying Luke 1 in Sunday school, which is where Zacharias and Elizabeth discover that they are going to have a baby, even though they were "both well stricken in years".  Of course, during class discussion we also talked about Sarah, who had Isaac after being well stricken in years.  Reading about these two women, about the important missions that they had to fulfill, and about the way their missions were fulfilled in the Lord's time, was the perfect reminder that I need to quit worrying about worldly timing restrictions, and "trust in the Lord with all my heart" (Proverbs 3:5).  I need to remember that He has an eternal perspective, and if I can let go of my own limited perspective, He will help me to see with my spiritual eyes and to understand His plan for me.  And if I can do that, then I will always have hope.

If you're interested in learning more about Sarah, or about other women who trusted in the Lord, you  might want to try Camilla Fronk Olson's book, "Women of the Old Testament."